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Minding their P’s & Q’s (patterns and cues) - My 'ish' Plan

Updated: Nov 5, 2019



So as life calms down and starts to take shape, take note mentally or physically of when your baby likes to sleep , it will be around the same time each morning, mine likes to go back down around 2 hrs after she has woken , what ever time that may be as she changes that every day. Then they will have times ish that they go down. Which will slowly form a schedule for you and them and you can make plans around this to sort your day . As for feeding, I am demand feeding , I am only taking note of the evening feeds. I give a bottle before bed ( she's got herself in to wee routine of breast feed, cat nap, playtime, bottle, burp and bed then dream feed at 11 ish ). Once they get bigger and move on to solids there will be more set times , i.e., snack and meals that you can evolve in to a schedule. not, your baby like mine will alert you to their needs and then you can act on it, she suggests to me ( more like demands loudly ) , I reenforced it to her, it's a mutual agreement that works for both of us. If you look of these patterns in their lives , ones that they have come up with and ones you have, then you can work together to achieve a rhythm in your family life. There is nothing worse and more stressful to a new mum or any parents when someone or something i.e. a book is saying exactly what you should be doing and how. That they should be sleeping for 2 hours exactly from here to here , they should be drinking this much , pooping that much and staying awake this much. There is nothing more frustrating for a parent when they don't know what their baby wants or needs or feels pressured in to doing things a certain way and it's not working for baby, like sleeping times, and they are wailing! I had a mum call me in tears, the book says she has to sleep two hours 9-11 and she's not falling asleep till 9.45 then tired when I wake her at 11. I said A- throw away book and read your child instead. Learn her cues, if she not falling asleep till 9.45 the don't put her down till 9.45 and let her sleep 2 hours from then or how ever long she needs, some kids do morning sleeps, some do afternoon ones. Yes, you will have to change your expectations of what you will do that day , but happy baby , happy mummy. Do the cooking for later, in the morning if they sleep for ages and go out in the afternoon where they can cat nap in the fresh air. Or if they cat nap in the morning, do a class if they aren't asleep anyway and do a big nap in bed at home so you can get other stuff done like laundry , etc. But do / take all of it with a pinch of salt and a dollop of ish , as in she sleep 9 ish and wakes 11ish. Every baby, family and circumstance is different and you need to find what works for you. . . .


But your baby is telling you that they agree with what you have suggested for them and need you go through with it. What I am saying is over the months your baby will have clocked on to you wanting them to sleep , eat , play , not poop that one no one has control over ! They are learning day and night, awake and asleep times, play times etc. And over the months, loose patterns will emerge that work for both of you. Babies like routine, It has to be very loose as life changes daily, be it with in the family or things coming up like doctors visits, classes, clinics and coffee dates. An outside option to go for a walk and or a sleep on a quick catnap in the car. A feed at a friends or in a cafe, or park bench. And it is this fluidity I call the ISH of life. It helps both of you . Babies like to know whats happening next and as a mum you need to be fluid with it but stay with in the realms of theirs and your expectations.


So as life calmes down and starts to take shape, take note mentally or physically of when your baby likes to sleep , it will be around the same time each morning, mine likes to go back down around 2 hrs after she has woken , what ever time that may be as she changes that every day. Then they will have times ish that they go down. Which will slowly form a schedule for you and them and you can make plans around this to sort your day . As for feeding, I am demand feeding , I am only taking note of the evening feeds. I give a bottle before bed ( she's got herself in to wee routine of breast feed, cat nap, playtime, bottle, burp and bed then dream feed at 11 ish ). Once they get bigger and move on to solids there will be more set times , i.e. snack and meals that you can evolve in to a schedule. But thats exactly the point, your baby like mine will alert you to their needs and then you can act on it, she suggests to me ( more like demands loudly ) , I reenforced it to her, its a mutual agreement that works for both of us. If you look of these patterns in their lives , ones that they have come up with and ones you have, then you can work together to achieve a rhythm in your family life. There is nothing worse and more stressful to a new mum or any parents when someone or somehting i.e. a book is saying exactly what you should be doing and how. That they should be sleeping for 2 hours exactly from here to here , they should be drinking this much , pooping that much and staying awake this much. There is nothing more frustrating for a parent when they don't know what their baby wants or needs or feels pressured in to doing things a certain way and its not working for baby, like sleeping times, and they are wailing! I had a mum call me in tears, the book says she has to sleep two hours 9-11 and she's not falling asleep till 9.45 then tired when i wake her at 11. I said A- throw away book and read your child instead. Learn her cues, if she not falling asleep till 9.45 the don't put her down till 9.45 and let her sleep 2 hours from then or how ever long she needs, some kids do morning sleeps, some do afternoon ones. Yes you will have to change your expectations of what you will do that day , but happy baby , happy mummy. Do the cooking for later, in the morning if they sleep for ages and go out in the afternoon where they can cat nap in the fresh air. Or if they cat nap in the morning, do a class if they aren't asleep anyway and do a big nap in bed at home so you can get other stuff done like laundry etc. But do / take all of it with a pinch of salt and a dollop of ish , as in she sleep 9 ish and wakes 11ish. Every baby, family and circumstance is different and you need to find what works for you.


So back to my bossy boots of a daughter, who are we kidding that she's not really in charge at the moment as there is no reasoning with her. So I have no choice to listen to her and implement her needs in to my day so we can both be happy. To read her patterns and accept like a kaleidoscope that they can and will change in an instant. To be there for her to indicate what she should be doing next , she maybe in charge but she has no idea what she is doing!! But boy try telling her that ..... I can see this being another pattern in our lives !

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