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Push me Pull me

Updated: Nov 9, 2019



So I am giving you permission and acknowledgment that we all go through this and we need to look after ourselves. I think I will forever have those competing voices in my head because that is the society, this generation have everything. They have that wrong by the way we can do ANYTHING not EVERYTHING! So I will argue with myself daily but I'm hoping the box set bonding voice wins not because I'm lazy but because time goes too quick with your child and you only notice after its gone . So take it from me, find a comfy spot, make sure you have a drink, hot and cold, the phone, tv remote a blanket, muslin, dummy. You've gone to the loo and you have a snack to hand. Collect up bubs and relax. You're looking after another humans every need. And we yell at ourselves for not keeping all those balls in the air ! Well, I do. Another mother put in perspective for me, she is further down line with an older one, she said ' she hated the hour long feeds on the couch because she felt she was tied there and could be using the time more wisely , now with a 18 month who doesn't sit down she would give anything to have that forced time back again' But even her statement she says forced time. Why is feeding and letting them settle on you and enjoying mummy mattress a forced time? Where else do you need to be. Statistically we as parents have spent over half the allotted time in life ( going on averages) with our children by the time the are 11 !! 11 years old and thats it , the time is gone. My dad summed it up saying you spend the first couple of years being chased by your kids for attention and the rest of your years chasing them for attention ! He has been listening the Father and Son by Cat Stevens, another persons words who sums up beautifully the limited time we have with each other as family! What I'm trying to say is, hear the voice out, if the matter is pressing, like you have no clean clothes or food in house and you really do smell or could cook chips off your hair ( thanks Amanda for that one ) then pop bubs down, get off couch , put off rest/sleep time with them and get it done quickly. Because your time, with bubs or without , your down time is important for you mind body and soul. They don't say 'sleep when they do' for nothing ! You need to look after yourself too, like the Air crew say in the safety briefing, put on your own mask before helping others.


I ask myself why are we made to feel guilty or unproductive during the day . It took time to grow this person , mine is only 3 months old and just as my body physically isn't expected to bounce back into my pre teen weight why is it expected to bounce literally back into it energy levels . I am breast feeding which means I need to eat and drink a lot , its draining ! on every part of me. But your resting when feeding . Yes but thats a job, are you resting while sitting at your desk at work? same thing ?


I read a wonderful article about mothers rest time , that holding a sleeping bubs and just swimming around in the love hormones is good for us. It brings balance and peace to an over worked mind and body. So why do I have an internal argument with mussels daily. Because we are too hard on ourselves. As mums we over think things and try to be everything to everyone. We need to maintain relationships with the people in our lives be it husbands/partners, other children and friends, when all we want to do is sleep. We need to still do all the jobs that we did , be it unpaid or paid after maturity leave. The house still needs to be looked after. We still need to eat, pay the bills and try to leave the house. All the while completely looking after another humans every need. And we yell at ourselves for not keeping all those balls in the air ! Well I do. Another mother put in perspective for me, she is further down line with an older one, she said ' she hated the hour long feeds on the couch because she felt she was tied there and could be using the time more wisely , now with a 18 month who doesn't sit down she would give anything to have that forced time back again' But even her statement she says forced time. Why is feeding and letting them settle on you and enjoying mummy mattress a forced time. Where else do you need to be. Statistically we as parents have spent over half the allotted time in life ( going on averages) with our children by the time the are 11 !! 11 years old and thats it , the time is gone. My dad summed it up saying you spend the first couple of years being chased by your kids for attention and the rest of your years chasing them for attention ! He has been listening the Father and Son by Cat Stevens, another persons words who sums up beautifully the limited time we have with each other as family! What I'm trying to say is, hear the voice out, if the matter is pressing, like you have no clean clothes or food in house and you really do smell or could cook chips off your hair ( thanks Amanda for that one ) then pop bubs down, get off couch , put off rest/sleep time with them and get it done quickly. Because your time, with bubs or without , your down time is important for you mind body and soul. They don't say 'sleep when they do' for nothing ! you need to look after yourself too, like the Air crew say in the safety briefing, put on your own mask before helping others.



So I am giving you permission and acknowledgment that we all go through this and we need to look after ourselves. I think I will forever have those competing voices in my head because that is the society, this generation has been bought up in , that women can do everything. They have that wrong by the way we can do ANYTHING not EVERYTHING! so I will argue with myself daily but I'm hoping the box set bonding voice wins not because I'm lazy but because time goes too quick with your child and you only notice after its gone . So take it from me, find a comfy spot, make sure you have a drink, hot and cold, the phone, tv remote a blanket, muslin, dummy. You've gone to the loo and you have a snack to hand. Collect up bubs and relax.

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