Updated: Nov 5, 2019
No one gets their birth plan! And if you are lucky enough to get a semblance of it , keep it to yourself because the rest of us didn't ! Be aware that somes experience doesn't resemble birth at all. And most of us are varying shades of sad to resentful at that at best. We mostly want to slap the next person who says , 'well at least they are a happy and healthy baby ' My advise from now on for a birth plan is , just to plan to give birth !
You will bleed, a lot , no matter how bubs came in the world! Naturally , helped, sun roof you name it , your body has to get rid of all that fluid ad it takes it god dam time doing it. We have all after 5 or 6 weeks asked each other or a HV , am I supposed to be bleeding like that ? I thought I was either having a period , really 5 weeks after bubs or I had popped a stitch. But if you know you are going to bleed that long , on and off then you feel better about it happening
Having a baby is painful, during pregnancy, there are aches and pains and stretching and kicks in places I knew I had but never thought I would ever feel. The there is the actual birth and then your body going back, ( and never to normal ) reverse aches and pains and stretches and baby kicking you in the c section scar on the outside !
Feeding is a bitch, breast or bottle , both have their pros and cons. Breast, Pros- ready made , no sterilisation required, on tap and warmed. Cons- leakage! Sore nipples, let down , no milk , limited supply. Hurts at times and blockages. Bottles - Pros easy to make up , see how much they are getting, others can help with feed. Cons - luging bottles around, have to clean , make them up , etc. There is no easy answer to either, and the grass is and isn't always greener.
At the beginning , none of us know what we are doing ! Some of us just fake it better. So don't worry if yours isn't sleeping eating pooping, insert what ever your wee one is or isn't doing. Motherhood is not a pyramid scheme , we support each other like a rope bridge , all linked and held together through many strands and things in common all trying to make it over the chasm that is parenthood , to the other side.
Hormones , tricky little fuckers, sneak up on you and infiltrate all, and I mean all areas of your life. You will feel like you are on a roller coaster and thats just hourly. It does slow down after a while to daily then weekly . But I am five months in and still have duvet days , where I cry at something! Or feel like I'm failing her or my partner or my family or society in some way. Yesterday I was sad because we were so busy that I felt I had not stared at her enough , that I was missing out as they grow up so fast.
No matter how much laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc that you do there will always be more, and you're not getting any younger and more importantly neither is your baby so leave it and spend time with them. Take care of yourself, rest , take a moment with and sometimes without your child. Take a shower even if you don't need it , if you have a stressful day, put on that box set and chill. Happy Mummy, Happy Baby, Happy Baby , Happy Mummy. It's symbiotic. And hand then over to others, Dads are good for that ! There is nothing like hearing them giggle at each other from another room.
Other mothers , no matter what age they are be it grandmothers mothers mothers in law, friends , ladies in the street, old or young are the best support network you will ever have . A kind word a knowing smile, a night out and a coffee group of wee class with others is all we need sometimes to get thorough the day. Dads are great don't get me wrong , but nothing beats girl friends. Same goes with other mothers, we run the world remember !
I think this blog will be on going and added to over the next months as I discover other tried and true lessons of mother hood and I am sure you have a few that you can think of too...............