Updated: Nov 5, 2019
Trust thy baby, which really means trust thy self, as they are an extension of you right now. Not just they came of you and from you , but that they are you right now. They need you completely to keep them alive essentially just as you would yourself. They are completely helpless and reliant on you. Just as you would feed yourself, and keep yourself warm and sleep when you need to, so they need you to do the same for them. The two ( or three or more depending on your support circle) of you need to work in harmony to achieve this. And thats where the tricky bit comes in , communication. Because they are a separate person but need what you need , you need to learn each others language. And for some new parents and heck 2nd and 3rd and so on parents this can be scary. They are crying , like all the time and I don't know what they want or need.
Don't panic, here is a secret, you do! You do know what they need, you just need to trust yourself. And listen. One to yourself and two to them as they are telling you. Firstly to listen to yourself as in the first few weeks and months you are in charge, if you think they are hungry, they probably are ,so feed them , if you feel cold, pop an extra layer on them too. Just one though , they only need one extra layer to us adults, not bundled up like a Christmas ham . If your inner mummy voice is saying they are tired then put them to sleep. In a way that works for both of you . Example , if they like to be swaddled and rocked, or need the boob to settle them thats what you do. Sleep ''training'' and putting down to sleep rather than asleep comes later. Check the nappy is clean, not bunched up ( no one likes a wedgie no matter what age )! Not too tight, pinching , etc. Or they are fussing check that a hand or in my case her ear isn't bent in a funny way and annoying them as they lie in your arms.
Secondly , listen to them, as they are telling you what they need. Their cry is their communication and it is as clear as speaking when you can decipher it. It's their own little language and you can and will learn it. Also it is unique to them , like their little voices will be in years to come. Imagine when you travelled and you had to learn the lingo , its like that, you will pick it up and quickly trust me. Although in full disclosure , I have to admit , I have that I have 'travelled' a lot as I was a nanny for over 20 years and learned the lingo of many babies and there are similarities , so I had a head start when it came to my own bubs.
They have a wet/uncomfortable cry. A hungry cry, a tired cry, an annoyed cry. And you will intrinsically know them as they will reflect in your own emotions. When I say that , |I don't mean what you are feeling at that time, although the annoyed, nothing is right cry might be shared at 2 am ! No what I mean is , for example the tired cry is a long drawn out cry, that you will recognise when you are tired, it's a grizzle almost. The hungry cry is short and sharp cry, saying Im hungry and now. Most of us have experienced that feeling. The wet cry is one where they squirm too , indicating that they are physically uncomfortable. The annoyed cry is like it says on the tin, they sound annoyed. Thats the hardest one to combat as nothing is right and you just have to calm them best way you can after trying everything else, food , cuddle, and clean bum.
You will soon become a dab hand at all of this and even be able to predict the mood and need of and for your baby before they hit the decibels. Which is a blessing to everyone including your neighbours and or strangers in the street. So put your bable fish in your ear ( see hitch hikers guide to the galaxy reference ) and start listening and hearing your child. You will relax and they will too knowing that both of you are in good hands .