A couple of my friends are having their 2nd children or in one case their 3rd. I knew them as pregnant ladies when I was up the duff and we were going through it all together. Now they have gone and had another one and left me behind. It's ok as blog 'take two' explains, I catching up soon , I hope. But what this reflection is about is the smiles on their faces for that all important first selfie. It's the one you take in the wee hours just after birth when you have had a chance to have tea and toast and get into bed. Bubs is all snuggled up against you , warm and squishy. And there is a look on your face of total bliss. Any Mum can recognise it and remember it from their time and thats what I want to call attention too . The Im exhausted but look what I just made smile.
We forget those moments , that moment in particular , life, responsibilities elsewhere, crowd in and take over. The actual management and care of the child become a priority over just sitting and being . If you're a first timer, everything is fraught with doubt and pressure to begin with. But I want you to find that photo, screen shot it and have it somewhere secret or out and loud on the mantelpiece and if you have done it a few times over, put them all up so you can be catapulted back to those moments. When life gets on top of you at three am with a jolt or a bounce when they cant sleep. When you're stressed and tired or in pain or ill. Have it with you as a mental snap shot of a happy place you can escape too. Flood your mind , body and soul with endorphins of that time. A tough day with or without your kids can be eased with a moment of reminiscing and deep breathe and maybe a glass of something ? ( and a hot bath or Ill take a locked bath room door ! )
I have had to employ this relaxing technique recently when I was hit with a hormonal migraine, one that floors you! I was blacking out and throwing up and had to lie down very still (as movement set off the first two symptoms ) in a very dark room and mentally take myself away from the pain as the pills did their work. I used to think of a great holiday I was lucky enough to have had, saw myself on a beach or a safari , etc. They were my happy places, but now it's her... I think of her smile and the first time I held her, the smell of her head and the rise of her chest as she used to sleep on me. I try to remember the sound of her heart beat that I listened to every two weeks for scans and now only feel in her chest. It worked to whisk me away for a while. Then seeing my friends first piccys of their son and daughter, I saw that look on their faces and knew they had added to their album of love there and then. And yes it makes me want another one and to feel that again for someone and for my heart to grow incorporating all my children in an instant.
Because even though we are exhausted, stressed, over worked and not paid and ill with no help and in pain physically sometimes , they are all worth it. So look at their face, take in every detail and remember you made that . Well Done Mumma !