If you have read anything else I have written , you will know that I was a nanny for a bit in London . So my wee one is not my first baby as such. She is the best baby and she is mine. But I know and have experienced and can peg in my sleep what she is going to do and ball park when and how wonderful it is. Like coming up she is going to point and wave and crawl and stand up and walk and talk . I have experienced all these things over and over . Taking delight in all of them as they were the little ones firsts and should be given the celebration they deserved. Sometimes I had to celebrate with them , just them and then wait till they did what ever it was in front of their parents like it was the first time they had ever done it. But thats what happens when you employ a full time nanny. (See guilty as charged), you run the risk of not seeing the very first time they do something. But from that side of the fence I can tell you that they first time you see them do what ever it is , is the first time for both of you . It is your shared experience between you . They will look at you to see if you saw and need and want your acknowledgment. So you're not really missing out at all.
But this blog is a word of warning to everyone and myself especially to slow down to take in the moments and to allow yourself and your baby to do things in your own time. And its more about you as a parent than your baby. As other blogs of mine talk about the milestones and stepping stones that need to be achieved and their physical and mental prescribed sequence. This is about not jumping the gun as such. For me I have made the mistake of saying I cant wait till..... I realised it is because I know whats coming next and the wonder of it all. I am excited !! And I have noticed other mums doing it too. And we need to stop. It's putting pressure on our kids to perform and we are always watching to make sure we don't miss what ever. Yet we are missing everything else in between. Im kidding about the pressure on our kids bit by the way . Totally kidding !!! But not about missing the little things that every day wee gems and joys, as we are waiting with bated breath and mental checklists.
I have had , especially as this is not my first rodeo as such with physical and mental milestones had to start by changing my language. Instead of I can't wait, I now say , I am looking forward to .... I am excited about whats to come while just trying to be present in every way for my baby , for her now. Yes, she is on the cusp of so may things and seems to be gaining new skills daily , she decided to feed herself instead of me do it rather ferociously I might add. I have to sit on my hands as she independently throws food at herself and hopes to get it in via osmosis. Because if I try to give her anything that is finger food , her mouth is clamped shut. She waving , at everyone and anything, she's rolling , getting herself wedged under furniture, she standing thinking she can walk , she can not and hasn't crawled yet ( see stepping stones that I am a stickler she does it first even if for a day before walking , all about cross patterning and switching on ) I have had to adjust my brain and stop the expectations and the projections that I am putting on her. And I have to say it is wonderful, to relax and be a new mum , to be excited and to watch my child develop her own paths and personality traits. To see who and how she will get on in the world. To watch her figure things out and allow her to do it. To be surprised and enthralled by her, to forget what I know and relearn to be with her.
We as Mums are our babies number one fans at all times ! And we are never so proud of them as when they have a light bulb moment. But I for one need to let it happen organically and naturally in her/my own time. To enjoy every day as a whole, and be available to nothing happening at the same time of everything happening.
In changing my lexicon, Im re-adjusting my time scales, and it's helping me to relax in to being a Mum ( and not on nanny time ) I am getting to view the world afresh again.
They say , on the day your baby is born a Mother is born. We are learning the world a new through them and I can't wait..... No, I am looking forward to it !