Updated: Nov 6, 2019
That old chestnut of a saying and I have found it is so true especially when it comes to raising kids. I have four , three teens and a baby. (And I have put my back out so even standing to get through the day is a struggle. And god bless him , but I have no help except in the evenings from Hubbie). Is how incredibly vital , family and friends are. And how much we need them and have to really participate in friendships to keep that connection thriving. For me, my friends here are everything. I have no family save one sister in law, who works full time. ( And god bless her too but only changed her first nappy a couple of months ago x ) I have no family here, no parents in law, aunties etc to pop round and take bubs for a wee while or meet up for a coffee. So when I did get under the weather with the back issue I needed my friends. Alas they too all have small babies as well so couldn't help out really. But they did come to mine for a playdate so I could lie on floor and not be judged. Then I got sick with mastitis and the help and advise I got, saved me. Then some sort of tummy bug. And once out of quarantine, offers of walks and meet ups to get me out of the house as they knew I had been stuck in for days.
What I did come to realise and quickly once all the hullaballoo had calmed down was mother hood is extremely lonely and isolating. Still now 9 months in at 9 am , I am left with just me and the baby. So having people out there to visit, come visit you and or class to go to, to get out of house has been a life line. We are an army of woman who can and will do anything to help each other out so get enrolled and get involved. It is so nice to be able to talk to someone, be it face to face or over a chat room. They are going through , have been or are about to go through the same thing and can be there to offer examples, experiences , help, just a shoulder if needed or and this is the most important, cake and chocolate ( the diet of any surviving mother ) along with a hot cup that you might actually be able to drink while still luke warm.
But best of all they can say the words you need to hear,,, you are doing a great job! Because your child is fed, clean (well they started that way ) does sleep even if it doesn't seem like it and you don't. ( sleep or feel like it ). They are learning and growing in every way. Stepping stones and milestones are being reached. You wonder like I do , am I doing enough , am I being enough , or do I just feel like I have had enough sometimes. To them you are their world and thats all they need from you is you ! But your world needs to be filled by us, and we are here for you , the silent warrior zombie army ( like Game of Thrones ) that just somehow keeps going. We are on the end of a phone, a class on a week day and nod in the playground, a visit when you need it most. We have been there, we are there and or we are getting there. You're not in this alone. So to my village I thank you , I really can't do this without you.