We did not ! And thats another thing that they don't really or aren't able to really warn us about. A whole new level of things. Everything is heightened ! The love you feel like your heart will burst, the fear you feel , like there is danger around every corner, the exhaustion you feel , as you maybe resting ( if you're a lucky one that bubs sleeps ) but you're always listening for them! There is tired, and then there is Mother tired ! No amount of kisses sate the love , no amount of risk management abates the fear and no amount of coffee really wakes you up.
Im a year in and I'm getting used to, or sanitised to the things that they don't tell us. I have written other blogs about the little surprises that us mummies get and others go 'oh yes well there is that' WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME comes to mind. But there is just stuff that happens that yes would have been good to know beforehand. And its still coming ...
So here goes, you will get phantom pregnancy feelings , from nausea to kicks ! Yes, kicks. Many of my group have reported feeling baby kicks when there is no way that they are pregnant again and or that far along !! But have sworn that there is movement down there. I looked it up, this happens, maybe the uterus shrinking and feelings like when it was expanding? Muscle spasms , or just all in out heads. But many have experienced it and no one bothered to tell anyone else that have gone before. Many a pregnancy test has been bought to check .
Baby brain, never goes away. I asked my ladies, what did you want to be told and it was overwhelming , the level of forgetfulness that comes with baby. I don't just mean you are living two lives, well three, mother , woman and protector of the babe ! Simple things that just melt in to the mist, going in to rooms, no idea why you're there. Knowing that there was something that you were meant to do and being in perpetual state of confusion. This coupled with above lack of real REM can be a killer for daily activities.
Mummy tummy, mine just won't shift, I'm eating better, doing pilates and yet I still have a permanent pouch of fluid that sits just above the c section. Wont go into or above the waist line in clothes so just kind sits there and makes me shapeless. Im happy that I will never get my body back, didn't really have one beforehand truth be told, but Im just a blob right now. Breasts have gone after bubs finished feeding , they kinda just hang. Wearing a bra for first time in two years , which is helping with confidence, but they are saggy so they are like liquid in the bra just kind of wobbling in there no real shape to them now. Im proud as punch of what I did with this body, but they way it hold together now I never thought about and kind of wished I knew so I was ready for the look of it. I blame the celebs and their bouncing back mentality.
Depression, can hit any where, any time. We are in the happiest stage of our lives and yet we will feel awful. And just when we think we are out of the woods, something sets us off again.
Things will fall apart and I don't mean mentally, hair will fall out in handfuls in the shower, nails will be brittle and break and aches and pains ! Don't get me started, Im currently typing in a wrist brace for some unknown pain that comes and goes with the weather. Backs will hurt, necks stiff ( from staring down a lot ) hips will click, tummy muscles will never work as they should ever again. Skin and other above stated items will sag.
BUT....... Now you know this is coming, its kind of reassuring that we are all suffering together! That you're not crazy , falling apart and can't remember why or how you feel this way. That it's ok to be tired , you will be for the foreseeable future ... You are ok, You are a Mum.