Updated: Nov 5, 2019
If you have them , next to you, in bed with you, in a side sleeper or in their own room from the get go , you still have to make it a welcoming environment for all. They have come from comfy and cosy if not slightly cramped surroundings in to bright and light and noisy. Don't get me wrong it was noisy inside. Just different noises. And thats my point you need to make it as familiar and inviting as it was when they were cooking. Because now they are growing and learning and sleep both yours and theirs is an intricate and huge part of development of them and sanity for you!
First room, be it yours or theirs, need to be airy , and light. Stark contrast yes to dark and warm womb. But fresh air and light is so important for them and their skin. In our part of the world there isn't enough sun so getting their vitamin D levels up naturally is a wonderful way of boosting immunity and health in your baby ( we as new mums are also advised to give Vitamin D drops either on the breast and or in the bottle. Although conflicting thoughts as to when , right from day dot or 3 months in or 6 months in as there is thought that formula gives the right does of added Vit D and for BF it comes through Mum. But in places where sunlight hours are scarce, not day light, sunlight then the thinking is Mum is using the Vit D for herself and not passing on , therefore to give drops ) no wonder we are in a muddle! Anyway have them near a source of fresh air, be it a window or sky light. Have natural light pour in to the room, it kills the bugs ! I have a plant or salt lamp to add to that list of setting up for the nursery. Both naturally purify the air and environment and an aid in natural rest. Don't have them too close to radiator of have sun directly on them. Do have a monitor and a night light , sometimes the same thing. I have one that plays music too . Have a change table near. Our bedroom is way to too small and full of our shit I mean stuff to fit in hers as well, so she has her own room that has her clothes and change table and she will go in there eventually , she she is ready and I can let go .
Which takes me to the next part , putting them into their own room. I say to the people who give the guide lines , push off. As most say 6 months . I have known kids who really did not get on with dads snoring and started to sleep better and through the night at 3 months after going into their own rooms. I know people who just don't have the space to have bubs in with them right from the get go. I also know people who co sleep therefore eliminating the need to move kids. Others namely me who aren't ready to pop them in their own room at 6 months and would like to keep them in with them forever.
There are pros and cons for extended or prolonged sleeping as its called ( you can tell someone with out kids named this and any parent would given a limb for prolonged sleeping ) Pros , they regulate their breathing to yours and learn to link sleep cycles and fall in to natural REM patterns by sleeping with others, They are right there for when the first reason fails and you need to attend to them , be it a midnight feed and or a hand on them to gently assure them that you are there and they can go back to sleep. A retrieval of a lost blanket, comforter or dummy. Cons - Space in the bedroom, while they are little a mosses basket or small bassinet might have sufficed , but as they grow the need for a bigger bed/ cot eats up all your room in the room. If you keep them for a long prolonged time , once they are sitting , climbing and crawling , they can see you and if you make eye contact with an almost asleep toddler they will abort mission. You may at some point want your privacy back , wink wink nudge nudge and its time for them to locate in to own premises. Another con to having them there is, limitations to your movement in your own room , lights on and off etc. Nothing like hoping around the room having snubbed your toe and don't want to wake sleeping baby with profanities !
But I know she will be ready soon, when she is and her needs will win out of course and I will transfer her over. This transition will be hard, on me ! And I have a plan, it consists of a good rocking chair, a day bed for me to go in to if needed ( thinking when she is ill etc and will be her forever bed later on ) Two monitors , one so I can hear her and a 2nd so she can hear us snoring for a wee while so she doesn't feel alone. Her big cot that I invested in that the mattress that starts off high and lowers as she gets bigger. Sides come down completely so when she is ready to transition to a big girl bed she can get used to not having sides, and able to get in and out easily. I had one charge when I was a nanny that I watched on her monitor flip herself out of her cot for about a week. It was a bit of a drop and I wondering how she didn't hurt herself. They are inventive, ingenious and made of rubber it seems. She was telling us in no uncertain terms she was ready for her next bed.
And that is a crux of it really, is looking and reading their cues and meeting their needs. So if your baby is letting you know that its time for their own room , then listen to them. Not ''experts'' who tell you a time frame that might not fit your family. It can be right off the bat, within weeks or months or years if you want . As a friend who has three of various ages pointed out that you can move them into their own room at what ever stage or age but they always come back to your bed at some point ( in the night when you least expect it )